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BC02
BTFF City - John Elementary Teacher: As today we're learning about the movie-making industry, we've got our very own guest speaker, a real movie producer from Mollywood, Sci himself! Sci: She's right kids, I am from Mollywood, and I produce movies myself. Yellow-Haired Kid: I've never heard of you... Sci: What do you know, you can't even watch PG-13 movies! So I was walking with Toon and Ben Affleck deciding who gets to be Batman in the new Daughter of Batman movie, then Henry Cavill shows up! Teacher: Um, can you get to showing us some of your works? Sci: I was getting to that... Alright, I was on what you kids these days would call an over-mowed backyard, fighting for my country. I was in an elite Special Ops unit called the Stark Irons. On an average patrol day, a soldier of my own fell down, and I went in the middle of field to save his life... I knew damn well that the second that small piece of metal from the very barrel of the other man's gun pummeled through my entire body I would be dead, yet I still managed to go for what seemed like walking in Arizona for three miles through the field carrying my wounded soldier so a safe-position in battle. Lucky for me, the soldiers attacking me ganged up on me, so I happened to have what I always called a popcorn grenade, threw it their way as it blew up, sending many soldiers back as more gunshots figuratively blew my ears and blood-drops splatter everywhere. Yellow-Haired Kid: I thought this was movie career day! Sci: Be quiet you littl- Anyways, so I spoke with the guy: "It's alright, private. Your name won't be forgotten in my book", I said. We both said the Stark Irons pledge "We are the streaks of the ingot, and the blood from our chin. We come here to die, and we come here to live...", yah those were the times. Teacher: That was a great example of movie script, so what happened after? Sci: I finished playing Modern Warfare 5. ... BTFF Crew... Pilgrim: Why did the turkey cross the road? Pilgrim's Son: So we could leave it alone and not shoot it? Pilgrim: NO! ... The Chaturn Cabin Reo: Hey, I know a guy who's got a great deal on- Dill: Appoplexian Tears? Because you've been saying that all night. Reo: Nah, even better. Upchuck Norris tears! Dill: Holy Norris... Ahmad: You're both idiots... Reo, why the hell are you always advertising your "friends" and acting tough? No offense... Reo: Well there's this thing you guys don't know about me. I'm not like any of you guys, my brain runs on something I'd lie to call "Reo's charm". One does not simply understand it, but if you need a scientist I know a super-genius who ca- Ahmad: Reo, that's me. Reo: Oh... Ahmad: See, that's you problem. Maybe if we can find a way to change your mindset... Reo: Hah, good luck! That's something even you can't fix, but if you need a guy who can fix I thing I know a- Ahmad: Reo! Reo: My bad... Sci walks into the cabin and closes the door, and walks over to his table in front of the room. Nick: Alright, Sci. We all came for your announcement, so you get to sit on the lazy chair. Make it fast, I was getting used to that thing! Reo: And where the hell is Ren? Sci: Apparently Scare had a strange urge to turn into a wolf and bite Ren's leg. Scare: It wasn't my fault, I sware! He pulled out a tranquilzing dart from his chest anyway... Nick: Make the announcement! Sci: I'm going t- you are so lucky you're under the president's watch... Dill: YOPO NATION, am I right? Reo: I will murder you... Dill: Sorry. Sci: Anyways, my announcement is... I'm going to produce a movie by the end of today! ... ... Sci: Anybody? Come on! I need someone to come with me... Ulti: Sorry, but I have to go... um... check on Ren. Nick: Yah me too! Scare: I've got to check on the guy, I mean I hurt him! Reo: I have a life... Sci: Ahmad, you owe me a favor, since I didn't tell Nick that the "smashed" chocolate balls you gave him weren't edible... Nick: What? Ahmad: Ssh. It was an experiment... I'll come, I've been meaning to test out a new CGI-animation invention. Sci: Alright, let's go! Sci races out of the cabin, as Ahmad follows him. Nick immediately jumps into the lazy chair Sci was sitting in, and suddenly relaxes. Nick: If you need me, ask someone else... Dill: Alright guys. I've been trying out this new trick, watch this... Scare: Better be good... Dill runs and back flips over the wall, kicking the bucket, knocking into a metal ball which rolls onto the shelf, over the coffee maker, falling onto a grenade surrounded by many pillows and sets it off, blowing the pillows all over the cabin room, and feathers from the inside of the pillow blowing everywhere. Dill: That was supposed to stop at the coffee maker and turn it on... Ulti: Why are all these pillows in the cabin filled with feathers? Scare: Who the hell puts pillows by a grenade? Reo: Who the hell puts a flammable grenade in a wooden cabin period? No one's surprised that didn't set the place on fire but me... Nick: I feel funny... Reo: (runs over to Nick) Do not sneeze, unless you want to set this cabin on fire. Speaking of fire, I know a guy- Ulti: Reo, get out of the way! Reo: What? Nick sneezes, and a burst of visible radioactive energy comes out from his nose, hitting Reo and sending him back. Everyone races to him but Nick. Scare: Nick, get over here! Nick: Dill's fault, not mine... Dill: Hey! You should've sneezed into your arm. Ulti: Reo, are you alright? Reo: I'm ok. I might have to rest for a while, though. What a blast! ... ... Reo: What? Dill: Speaking of blasts? Ulti: Don't you happen to know a guy who sells rockets or something? Reo: No... I thought you were referring to Micheal Bay. Nick: Dammit! Scare: Something really got to your head, buddy... Dill: What happened to "The Reo's Charm" or something? Reo: What? I don't believe in luck. Dill: No I didn't mean that, it's what you- Reo: Who the hell is the new guy? Dill: Aw crap, he doesn't remember me. His charm and part of the memory where he met me in prison... Ulti: What? Dill: Don't worry, guys. We can fix him, I mean what could go wrong? Nick: Dammit... Reo: For even a noob you're pretty stupid... Dill: Hey! I'm not stupid... MOLLYWOOD Ahmad is driving in the car with Sci, screaming directions at Ahmad. Sci: Left! No your other left! Wait no, my left! Ahmad: We have the same lefts- Sci: We're going to crash! Ahmad: Crap! They slide right in front of a truck before it flattens them, and they drive onto the other road. Sci: You missed the turn! Ahmad: If we turned, we wouldn't been pancakes. Sci: Alright, turn right. No, your other right. Ahmad: Just tell me where we're going to I can just GPS this... Sci: To the Sci100 Productions Studio. Ahmad: Alright... ...Snor Ahmad: That is not a real place. Sci: It is, Google got mad at me for sponsoring Bing in my last movie, so they took me off Google Maps... Ahmad: You sponsored Bing? Mother of god... Sci: Yah. Won't do that again... Turn my left! Ahmad: That's our left! Sci: No the other left! Ahmad: DAMMIT! The Chaturn Cabin Ulti and Dill walk in to find Nick sleeping on the lazy chair, and Scare sleeping on his chair. Reo is no where to be found. Dill: What the hell? Scare! Ulti: Scare, wake up! Scare: Okay, okay. I didn't take Dill's last pizza from the fridge! Dill: You little... Ulti: Where's Reo? Scare: He wanted to go for a walk, so I let him. Wait... Where the hell is Reo!?! Nick! Nick, faking sleep: (Snoring) Trying to ignore Scare...(Snoring)... Scare: Nick, wake up. I told you to watch over Reo. Nick: I've been sleeping since Sci left... Ulti: We were going to find a therapist to help us out, but we have to wait until tomorrow for the appointment. Scare: Well all we have to do is look for him... Dill: Where would we go if we were all Reos? Ulti: That's a bad question, considering that Reo probably won't go to the places he usually does. With the bad luck we have, our chances of finding him are slim. Nick: What could possibly go wrong? There. Now you're chances are really slim. A knock on the door is suddenly heard. Ulti: Reo! Ulti opens the door, but he doesn't see Reo. He sees five men at the door all in suits wearing an organized set of men's jewelry. Ulti: Who are you guys? Man in the middle: No, the question is who the hell are you? See kid, we're the Brickle Bandits. We don't play around... Nick: I like these guys. They act tougher than Reo... Man in the middle: I'm Big Blue, this is Big Red, that's Big Green, that's Big Purple, and that over there is Jonas. We want to speak to Mr. Bad-Alex. Nick: That would be Reo... Ulti: What? He's not here. Big Blue: Aw, that's so sad. (Every Bandit pulls out a gun) Then you're coming with us. Dill: Wait why? Scare: The people Reo hang out with... Big Blue: We won't shoot you, we're just tryin' to get Mr. Bad-Alex to come. He owes us a turkey, you know? Dill: Does that mean we can run? Big Blue: Do that and we'll shoot you. ... Ulti, Dill, and Scare walk over outside the cabin, holding their hands up. Big Blue faces Nick. Big Blue: Why don't you come on with us, or die, punk. Nick: You send that bullet through my head, and I'll blow up this whole forest. Big Blue: Prove it, blow up right now I dare you. Nick: I can show you an example... Nick picks up a cup, and it suddenly glows red. Nick throws it at the ground, and it explodes, blowing a hole in part of the ground beneath him. Big Blue: Whoa. We sure could use you, you know help us bomb the airp- Nick: No. Big Blue: Aw man, no more airport bombing plans... men, let's go! Ulti: Nick, what about us? Nick: Just compliment them to death, you do it to me anyway... Scare: Why did we invite this guy to the cabin... The Brickle Bandits walk out and shut the door, as Nick gets back into his lazy chair and leaves. Brickle Bandit Headquarters Scare: Man, this place looks like that warehouse far off in the background at night in The Dark Knight Rises... Big Blue: You pay way too much attention to them movies, son... Ulti: Well he tends to- Big Blue: Shut up, you talk way too much. Dill: Sheesh... Ulti: It's alright, Dill. Scare: So what are we going to do while we're here? Dill: Great, now he's going to make us do something... Big Blue: I've got a special job for you guys... You see those sprouts laid all over this entire garden? You, and your little friends are going to grow these for me. We've got turkeys to feed, and these special planets will trigger them into, you know... "breeding mode". Ulti: *Cleveland voice* That's just nasty... Big Red: I like the guy with the voice, boss. Big Blue: We have plenty more Cleveland Brown boys in the warehouse, Red. Big Red: But...but I like that on- Big Blue: Red! Big Red: Ok... Big Blue: Now, you three have 4 hours to get these things to grow. Dill: What. Big Blue: You heard me, 4 hours. Now me and the boys are going to watch a random sitcom we've never seen in our lives yet still pretend to understand the jokes. So don't escape, and tell me when Mr. Bad-Alex comes. The Brickle Bandits go into the warehouse, as Dill, Ulti, and Scare walk over to the garden, and they all sigh, one after the other. Scare: Well come on, let's go. Dill: Nah, I'm pretty sure Reo has come back from his walk. If he comes over here, the Brickle Bandits will come on him and he literally won't see what's coming. Scare: He-he, "come on him". He-he, "see what's coming"... Ulti: If you escape, they're going to catch you. Scare: Yah, but you don't have an amazing superpower, and all Dill does is change into different costumes. Dill: I'm not the one who got scared after "the boogeyman" aka me jumped into his cabin home at night. Scare: Good idea, why don't you go dress up as the boogeyman and scare them. Get shot to death, that's cool with me. Dill: Would you just go? Cheating death with your "superpowers"... Scare: Cheetahs always win, Dill. Scare morphs into a cheetah, flicks Dill off and runs off into the distance, disappearing behind the bushes. Dill: I still have that boogeyman video anyway... Ulti: How are we supposed to grow plants we've never even heard before? Dill: Wish we had Ren's chest... Ulti: Well I doubt there's any signal here, don't think we can call his wife. Dill: I have an idea... Thanks to Reo, we just might be able to do this... Ulti: What are you thinking...? Dill: I have something of Reo's that might help us. MOLLYWOOD Sci: I said my left! Ahmad: For the last time, just say left because we have the same left. Sci: No wait the other left. Ahmad '''stops '''the car immediately, then drives slowly and parallel parks to the side. He faces Sci in frustration. Sci: Hey, why'd you stop it? Ahmad: You're making me sick with all these directions! Dude, are you using my invention as a plate!?! Sci: Chicken's not going to stand on my lap. It's kinda cold... Ahmad: Wait what? Sci opens the door in the invention and puts his plate in. He presses several buttons, then presses start. Ahmad: Sci you idiot... that's not a microwave. Well it kind of is but- Sci: But nothing, I got hungry, so I ate. A movie star's got to keep his brain going you know... Ahmad: Well you just set off a set of ticking time bombs that will trigger disastrous events that usually only seem realistic in CGI animation. Sci: Like the Green Lantern CGI? Ahmad: I meant good-quality CGI... That's why I wanted to bring it, it makes its own movies... The bank beside them explodes as four robbers with masks on run out of the bank like idiots. One of them comes out with a blaster, that might have supposedly caused the blast. They hop into their car, and they drive off. Ahmad's car suddenly transforms into a police car, as more police cars show up. Sci: What the hell? Why am I in a police officer's suit? Ahmad: We're on a cop chase, it's part of the movie! Maybe you can gain inspiration from this. Sci: I'll call my co-producers, they've got to video this! Alright, start the movie. Ahmad: Officer Sci, it looks like we already have... Communicator: All officers, we've got a problem. The Crooks of Thunder have struck again! Get it, struck? Officers, roll out! All the police cars drive off on the road, pin pointing the exact location of the crooks. The Crooks make a swift turn, causing a police car to run into a building, exploding into a violent burst of flames as rocks and pieces of glass flying out, and the other police cars drive on. A crook throws a bomb, which crashes into the police window. The police man jumps out of the car and begins to roll and the police car blows into bits, releasing a surge of energy that slightly disrupts the other police cars still driving on the road. The police men begin shooting, as the crooks' car begins to swerve along the road, as they drive onto the highway. The police cars follow them up there, as the crooks spill oil that begins to catch on fire, swerving a police car into a regular car and breaking through the barriers of the highway, falling off as the impact causes a small nuke explosion with a mushroom cloud of ashes following it. Ahmad: Alright, Officer Sci. Time to get creative... Sci: Let's take out the Psycho Cannon... Sci takes a rope out of the car drawer, then straps himself to the rope, the other end tied to the seat. He opens the window and jumps out swiftly, flying back instantly but suddenly dragged by the rope, as he pulls his way closer and opens the trunk, as empty sheets of paper begin to fall out and Sci grabs the Psycho Cannon, then pulls himself halfway through the window as he prepares to shoot the Crooks. Sci fires the laser, but then the Crooks pull out a dense mirror, which reflects the shot into the sky, creating a massive portal.